my week

I had a tough week. I fell and have a torn ligament in my knee.

It will mean months of rehab, perhaps an operation and rehab. I wish I could explain how I felt waiting to know what the MRI would reveal. I saw myself unable to walk again (the blow to my knee was very hard), I felt guilty and stupid of having caused the situation that led to the injury. My mind was creating as much damage and pain as my knee. I had never been so depressed in my life. I could not read a book, watch a movie. My mind always went back to the fact I could not walk properly. A simple thing and I could not do it. Still does, once in a while.

I had to stay with my parents, call friends, I could not face myself alone.

I am grateful to them for having been there for me. And I hope they will be there through the slow, painful process that lies ahead.
I have no desire to write a philosophical statement here. Quite the contrary, I want to laugh, and smile. At life, at me, at how much we take for granted.